“Chotu! Do toast, tin chai lana!”

So I am supposed to respond to ‘Happy Children’s Day’ posts,  Or make my own cute little post with my own cute little days’ pictures and celebrate..

Celebrate what though?
What are people even celebrating?

Let’s have a quick check on our database:
Whose words are these?
“The children of today will make the India of tomorrow. The way we bring them up will determine the future of the country”.
You get 5 points bonus if you guessed it to be Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, India’s first Prime Minister. This man was known for his love for children and used to be called Chacha Nehru or simply Chachaji. Prior to 1964, India celebrated Children’s Day on 20 November, which was observed as the universal Children’s Day by the United Nations. But after his death in 1964, it was unanimously decided to celebrate his birthday as Bal Diwas in the country for his affection for children. In building up the All India Institute of Medical Sciences, or AIIMS, and the Indian Institutes of Technology, and initiating the establishment of the Indian Institutes of Management, this man had a big share of contribution.

So the point of this day, was to cherish and keep up idea, value and responsibility that he held for the succeeding generation.

Are we?

None of us are Kailash Satyarthi, none of us had to work at restaurants late to go to school in the morning. What actually are we celebrating? There still are children working to make their daily bread, children working in inhygenic places that can screw up their entire life! Children are still begging so that they can take Dendrite (that’s easier than buying food plus kills hunger), still out of school or are school drop outs because there are less people in the family then to earn money!

No offense to anyone getting nostalgic about good old well-cuddled days,
but holding the power to work: work for others, power to share: share some of our own share, and power of thinking out of the box for a day, gives us hell lot of power already! And
“..With great power, comes great responsibility.”

Go feed a street child a plate of paw bhaji, take a selfie and upload that in as many social accounts you hold! That not only will boost up your already inflated ego, but also will encourage others to do that too! JUST IMAGINE, how many children will get fed in one day if only one person holds out a thali to just one little one!

Feels good? Try that tomorrow. You need no children’s day. I bet Nehru didn’t work only on 20th. Feel lazy? Let’s see your feed on next 14th then.

May November 14th get truly happier with each year : ) ❤

Hell of a Habit!!

priscilla-du-preez-234138.jpg
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

The tv broke that Monday, that too in the middle of her favorite show?!
Pathetic!
Jenny tried to fix it at first, but no use. First sad; then angry and irritated for two days and then finally relieved when she got a new tv by Thursday to watch her show again. Although the recap said everything she needed to stitch up the missing part of the story, yet, you know, she regretted about the two and a half episodes anyway!

So that’s a bad short story aaand also very boring. I know.
It’s neither about Jenny, OR about the tv.
Instead, It is about – You!

Risk two more minutes to know why I’m not lying here.

WE, humans, have materialized almost everything, including other humans too! That’s very reason why you’ll see less relationships, and more Habits. Explanation?
Right here:

As we form habits, of drinking tea in the morning, and then suddenly after just a month or so, we can’t even have our breakfast without it! Absolutely similarly, we form habits out of human beings. Like: you drink tea in the morning with your brother since childhood, and then you are transferred to another city, and the morning tea doesn’t taste same (you dropped a tablespoonful of habit there)!

Or, if you don’t like yourself in the example, take me, I can NOT sleep without tucking a pillow under a leg, and you can guess how hard would it be for me while staying at relatives places at times. So, I actually tucked a habit under my leg. Sounds.. weird. Anyways!

Although the word ‘Schedule’ came into its actual being in mid 19th century, we started scheduling our time and energy on things and people long before that. And no I am not gonna talk how we have reduced our relationships to small since then, but, how we haven’t noticed, when they stopped being one good relationship in itself, regardless of the century we were in.

In a 20 year old marriage, where the wife cooks, cleans, serves dinner, eats and sleeps and the husband eats, goes to work, comes back, has his dinner and sleeps – aren’t in a relationship after all! They are in a habit. A habit of each other: Where, if one disappears in Narnia one fine morning, the other one would grieve because the rhythm broke, because the cycle they were in together, is no more and this person has to make himself a new habit. No, no grief is less, but don’t you think that there is fine line between –

you are missing in here

&

I am missing you here.

We all have got habituated with people, pets, things around us, without even knowing. There, we feel comfortable, that, is our comfort zone, that gives us a sense of stability: very reason we love them.

“We love them, isn’t that the reason we get comfortable and get habituated with them??” someone like you asked me. You won’t like the answer, but, No.
When we make a Person a habit, we are more attached to them, than actually loving them.
Loving consists of enormous amount of growth, together. Whereas attachment just engages and then exchanges energy (can be one or both ways), on repeat.

The comfort of habit, and love, are different. Stacy is in a long distance relationship where both of them have just met only thrice since the beginning of it, but they have talked over phone mostly. Stacy recently met an old friend, and feels she is falling for him. When her best friend asked her why isn’t she considering leaving the previous guy, her answer was, “It’ll be so hard leaving him!”
Read that again. She didn’t say “I will miss him”, or “but I love him!” Her concern is in how hard will it be to go through the breaking up process. Hint: He is nothing more than a habit here.

When we lose a habit, we alternate them: Asit is trying to quit smoking, so he chews gum whenever he feels like to smoke. Accordingly, when a person was our habit, ( like the tv was to jenny) and we loose it, we alternate them. Jenny didn’t buy a new tv because she loves a tv, right? She loved the show! We, here, love to be attended to. When that person of interest is lost, the void is the feeling, not the person. Like the tv, the person was only a medium! So if the wife goes to Narnia and never comes back, the husband will miss being served the morning tea, not the tea that She made though. Too thin line no?

Simplifying: Human-habit is a behavior that doesn’t affect or contribute to your health, physical or psychological, but you are doing it, only because you have been doing it!
We make people habit because that is easy. You do not need to invest much, think or do; although this process is absolutely unconscious. Or if I say the other way round, we get attached to people easily than being in love with them, because attachment is easy to approach us. But we can spot it and break out of them too!

How to spot if you have made someone your habit or you have bacome so of somebody?

  • Communication: there will be lack of in depth communication as that requires emotional and rational thinking.: which is time consuming.
  • Rigidness: you can notice that some one of you is rigid to the personal changes of the other, ex: you and your bestie have moved to different cities for studies, she has made new friends but you wouldn’t like her to go out with them, talk to them when she comes back home.
  • Growth: Zero growth. Absolutely zero growth is possible when you are in a human-habit. Because habit is repeating the same things, you can’t explore more, so the knowledge of the other is limited and Obviously out of date. So naturally you cannot provide him/her what she or he will need!

Though three of them are the look-out points, growth is the major one! If you find nothing in a relationship that moves you, inspires you, pushes you to be better or makes you happy, not excited or no fun, but happy, think it through. Look within, look back, like on a 6 month timeline: how much of personal growth do you see?

Habits that grows you : painting, singing, gardening, reading or even leaving a cute note for people are jewels. But when it is reversed, and especially when our relationships become rigid, communication-less, zero-growth Habit, red alert! Red Alert!

 

So to the ones we still love, love to love, and will keep safe from becoming a habit:

We won’t say, I miss you
We’d say, Tu me manques
which means
You are missing from me’

 

 

Oops it took around 5minutes! 😀              (do tell me if it was worth it)

 

“Another Way To Say I Will Miss You”

Photo By Greg Kantra

‘​I used to say, the color I wear speaks how I am. But, does it? The day I was crying my eyes out at 3 am in the morning, in chills of December on my rooftop alone , in your yellow tee darling sister, I wasn’t happy at all!

your cologne was still hitting my olfactory bulb and reminding me how easier it has been to not be okay with you.

So no, the color I wear hardly speaks it all..

Sometimes, my yellow is my black.’